More pictures of the visit with family in DC. Take a look and see how Anna's smile brings joy to everyone who sees it. It also had to be one of the prettiest DC days of the year...here's proof!
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3 years ago
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Blaney/Reynolds trip
We had a great time with Greg, Cheryl, Lauren, Daryl and Anna last weekend. Here are some pictures from the trip. Anna is getting so big and is sooo cute!!! We go to go to the Jim Henson exhibit in DC which was a lot of fun. Anna's favorite thing was Ernie, so Jarod got her a mini-Ernie. That just may earn him the name "uncle Ernie." :)
Monday, August 11, 2008
Continuing on the "Search" - The Performance Trap
Chapter 3 of The Search for Significance
False Belief - I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself.
Consequences - The fear of failure; perfectionism; drive to succeed; manipulation of others to achieve success; withdrawal from healthy risks.
Any of this sound familiar? This was a hard chapter for me.
Colossians 2:8 - Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
Here are a few truths that struck me:
1) A primary deception all of us tend to believe is that success will bring fulfillment and happiness.
2) Perfectionists usually base their self-worth on their ability to achieve a goal. Therefore, failure is a threat that is totally unacceptable to them.
3) The pressure of having to meet self-imposed standards in order to feel good about ourselves can results in a rules-dominated life. The focus of the Christian life should be on Christ, not self-imposed regulations.
Key areas in Performance Trap
1) Perfectionism - perfectionists often appear to be highly motivated but their motivations usually come from a desperate attempt to avoid the low self esteem that they experience when they fail.
2) Avoidance of Risks - we can't fail what we don't try!
3) Anger and Resentment - when we fail, we look for others to blame.
4) Pride
5) Depression
6) Addiction to Success
7) Identity entangled w/Success - what good is success if other people don't know about it?
Fear of Failure Test - how afraid of failure are you?
Read each of the following statements; then, from the top of the test, choose the term that best describes your response. Put the # above that term in the blank beside each statement:
1 - Always
2- Very Often
3- Often
4 - Sometimes
5- Seldom
6 - Very seldom
7- Never
__1. Because of fear, I often avoid participating in certain activities.
__2. When I sense that I might experience failure in some important area, I become nervous and anxious.
__3. I worry.
__4. I have unexplained anxiety.
__5. I am a perfectionist.
__6. I am compelled to justify my mistakes.
__7. There are certain areas in which I feel I must succeed.
__8. I become depressed when I fail.
__9. I become angry with people who interfere with my attempts to succeed and, as a result, make me appear incompetent.
__10. I am self critical.
Total up your score __
If your score is:
57-70: God has given you a very strong appreciation for His love and unconditional acceptance. You seem to be freed from the fear of failure that plagues most people.
47-56: Fear of failure controls your responses rarely or only in certain situations.
37-46: When you experience emotional problems, they may relate to a sense of failure or to some form of criticism. You can probably relate many of your previous decisions to this fear. Many future decisions will be made the same way unless you take direction to overcome this.
27-36: Fear of failure forms a general backdrop to your life. There are probably few days that you are not affected in some way by this fear. Unfortunately, this robs you of the job and peace your salvation is meant to bring.
0-26: Experiences of failure dominate your memory and have probably resulted in a great deal of depression. These problems will remain until some definitive action is taken. This condition will not simply disappear; time alone cannot heal this pain. You need to experience deep healing in your self concept, in your relationship w/God and with others.
I scored in the 37-46 range and could really relate with a lot of the examples (I guess that is why I am reading the book!).
I'll leave you with this final quote - The more sensitive you become to the fear of failure and the problems it may cause, the more you will understand your own behavior as well as that of others.
My prayer is that I can identify why I am afraid to fail, give that to God and fully experience the joy and peace of our salvation.
False Belief - I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself.
Consequences - The fear of failure; perfectionism; drive to succeed; manipulation of others to achieve success; withdrawal from healthy risks.
Any of this sound familiar? This was a hard chapter for me.
Colossians 2:8 - Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
Here are a few truths that struck me:
1) A primary deception all of us tend to believe is that success will bring fulfillment and happiness.
2) Perfectionists usually base their self-worth on their ability to achieve a goal. Therefore, failure is a threat that is totally unacceptable to them.
3) The pressure of having to meet self-imposed standards in order to feel good about ourselves can results in a rules-dominated life. The focus of the Christian life should be on Christ, not self-imposed regulations.
Key areas in Performance Trap
1) Perfectionism - perfectionists often appear to be highly motivated but their motivations usually come from a desperate attempt to avoid the low self esteem that they experience when they fail.
2) Avoidance of Risks - we can't fail what we don't try!
3) Anger and Resentment - when we fail, we look for others to blame.
4) Pride
5) Depression
6) Addiction to Success
7) Identity entangled w/Success - what good is success if other people don't know about it?
Fear of Failure Test - how afraid of failure are you?
Read each of the following statements; then, from the top of the test, choose the term that best describes your response. Put the # above that term in the blank beside each statement:
1 - Always
2- Very Often
3- Often
4 - Sometimes
5- Seldom
6 - Very seldom
7- Never
__1. Because of fear, I often avoid participating in certain activities.
__2. When I sense that I might experience failure in some important area, I become nervous and anxious.
__3. I worry.
__4. I have unexplained anxiety.
__5. I am a perfectionist.
__6. I am compelled to justify my mistakes.
__7. There are certain areas in which I feel I must succeed.
__8. I become depressed when I fail.
__9. I become angry with people who interfere with my attempts to succeed and, as a result, make me appear incompetent.
__10. I am self critical.
Total up your score __
If your score is:
57-70: God has given you a very strong appreciation for His love and unconditional acceptance. You seem to be freed from the fear of failure that plagues most people.
47-56: Fear of failure controls your responses rarely or only in certain situations.
37-46: When you experience emotional problems, they may relate to a sense of failure or to some form of criticism. You can probably relate many of your previous decisions to this fear. Many future decisions will be made the same way unless you take direction to overcome this.
27-36: Fear of failure forms a general backdrop to your life. There are probably few days that you are not affected in some way by this fear. Unfortunately, this robs you of the job and peace your salvation is meant to bring.
0-26: Experiences of failure dominate your memory and have probably resulted in a great deal of depression. These problems will remain until some definitive action is taken. This condition will not simply disappear; time alone cannot heal this pain. You need to experience deep healing in your self concept, in your relationship w/God and with others.
I scored in the 37-46 range and could really relate with a lot of the examples (I guess that is why I am reading the book!).
I'll leave you with this final quote - The more sensitive you become to the fear of failure and the problems it may cause, the more you will understand your own behavior as well as that of others.
My prayer is that I can identify why I am afraid to fail, give that to God and fully experience the joy and peace of our salvation.
Monday, August 4, 2008
19 days and counting..
Until Jarod and I sail away for a long vacation!! We can hardly wait. We are taking a 12 day cruise to the Mediterranean and visiting Rome, Naples, Dubrovnik, Venice, Messina, Monoco, Livorno, and Barcelona. Most of you know last time this year we were communiting to and from Richmond as we relocated back to DC. Thinking back we haven't had a vacation in 2 years. That is way to long!!! :)
Needless to say we are really excited. I can't wait to post pictures when we get back. I'm sure we'll have some great ones.
One of the fun things about it only being 19 days until we leave is all of the fun stuff we are doing between now and then. For example, this weekend Jarod's family and Baby Anna are coming down to visit. (yeah!! we haven't seen Anna in months!!) We are really looking forward to seeing them and spending time with them this weekend. I think the guys are going to be doing a golf trip and the girls will probably do some shopping and maybe visit some of the museums.
Next weekend we are going to a National's game on Friday with a bunch of people and Saturday we are taking advantage of DC's restaurant week... if you live in the DC area, you should check it out. High end restaurants participate and dinners only cost $35.00/person. http://www.washington.org/restaurantwk/ And I have to get my scrapbooking caught up, so I'll be doing that as well.
I am still in training for the 10 miler and triathalon, so the weekends are also full of long bike rides and long runs. I recently recruited another person, Jenny, for the Tri so I have other people to train with as well which is always fun. My friend Becci is trying to get me to do 2 10 milers back to back so we'll see if that works out... I'll be one tired girl!
Needless to say we are really excited. I can't wait to post pictures when we get back. I'm sure we'll have some great ones.
One of the fun things about it only being 19 days until we leave is all of the fun stuff we are doing between now and then. For example, this weekend Jarod's family and Baby Anna are coming down to visit. (yeah!! we haven't seen Anna in months!!) We are really looking forward to seeing them and spending time with them this weekend. I think the guys are going to be doing a golf trip and the girls will probably do some shopping and maybe visit some of the museums.
Next weekend we are going to a National's game on Friday with a bunch of people and Saturday we are taking advantage of DC's restaurant week... if you live in the DC area, you should check it out. High end restaurants participate and dinners only cost $35.00/person. http://www.washington.org/restaurantwk/ And I have to get my scrapbooking caught up, so I'll be doing that as well.
I am still in training for the 10 miler and triathalon, so the weekends are also full of long bike rides and long runs. I recently recruited another person, Jenny, for the Tri so I have other people to train with as well which is always fun. My friend Becci is trying to get me to do 2 10 milers back to back so we'll see if that works out... I'll be one tired girl!
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